RE:turn
by icattails
Summary: She shouldn't have remembered the way his lips felt upon hers. Plot AU divergence: Corrin was forced to return to Hoshido despite siding with Nohr for some time. However, she can't remember why – or even any of her time in Nohr – until now... Cross posted on AO3, Marx Xander / F! Kamui Corrin ft. Ryouma Ryoma, Kanna Kana, Siegbert
A flash of gold danced in the wind, blazing as furiously as the setting sky above. A lone figure towered above the army, his noble sword slashing in circles like an entranced dream. She couldn't take her eyes off this sight, feeling some strange connection to this man; it called for her, her alone, a long forgotten memory she couldn't put a name to.

"Corrin."

She turned, suddenly facing Ryoma, her brother, as his hand reached out, beckoning her to come home.

As she fell into step beside him, silently trudging the long march away from the battlefield, she couldn't stop thinking about that stranger. She tried to shrug it off as nothing more than a silly illusion, but her conscious knew better. The voice in the back begged to be freed.

"Ryoma," she called out.

He turned, a puzzled look on his face. "What is it?"

"Who was that man?" she asked, her face contorted in lack of understanding. "The golden one, the one on the dark horse?"

Ryoma stopped, his feet growing cold. After a moment's hesitation, he continued walking in silence, avoiding Corrin's determined eyes. When Corrin nudged him again, firmly asking the same questions thrice over, Ryoma knew he couldn't keep it a secret forever.

"Xander," he stated. "His name is Prince Xander of Nohr."

Xander. The name felt oddly warm and comforting to Corrin's ears, a whisper of the past she never really knew. _Xander,_ she breathed. Somehow, she knew they would meet again.

-XXXX-

She dreamed of black claws gripping her cold, lifeless body, an evil grin pasted on the man in front of her. _My child,_ he had called her, laughing like the devil incarnate. She saw faces, unfriendly faces, unable to make out any of them except for four. Four lonely children in the dark of the hall.

A shift in the wind, a blow from the north.

A blond girl giggled as she pulled Corrin along the hallways. "C'mon big sister! We're going to be late!" Corrin dashed with her hand in the other girl's, only to bump into the arms of an older woman, this one with lavender hair. The woman chuckled, embracing her with all the love of a mother figure. "Don't forget Leo," she murmured into Corrin's hair, stroking it tenderly. "You know he _loves_ hugs."

-XXXX-

Corrin was laughing now, laughing without a care in the world as a young man picked her up and spun her around. She felt as though she were soaring on top of the clouds, the curly blond hair around the man twirling in unison with her arms.

When he put her down, she saw the widest smile on his face that hadn't shown in eons. "Big brother Xander!" she gleefully squealed as he began to spin her around again. "I'm so glad you're here!"

He returned the smile she so dearly loved.

"Happy birthday, my little princess."

-XXXX-

 _Big brother,_ she had called him. And Xander.

Ryoma was her big brother.

Corrin scoured the library for hours, hoping to find a clue to her predicament. But when she asked for a history of the Nohrian Kingdom, she turned a blank upon every page. The librarians hushed her away for mentioning something so forbidden, making her promise to never speak of the name Xander again.

-XXXX-

Devotion was the word that came to mind when she saw him again.

Corrin didn't know why she was so far in the front lines, dangerously toying with her life on the line. She had just struck down the last of the Nohrian soldiers in her sight, daring anyone to come closer to the Hoshidan land she protected. It was her duty, as Princess of Hoshido.

Duty had its price.

Just as she was about to regroup with the Hoshidan army, that same flash of gold she yearned for caught the corner of her eye.

They stood across from each other, one not really sure who she was anymore, the other bounded by chains to his father's will.

As Corrin locked eyes with Xander, she thought she saw, if only for a brief moment, the smallest flicker of shock. She examined his face slowly, invisibly tracing the lines of his battle scars with her gaze. Deep down, she knew every fiber of his being, how it worked, breathed, lived. The way he would furrow his brow whenever something was bothering him. How he would sigh when he thought no one was around to hear the regret he carried.

She shouldn't have remembered the way his lips felt upon hers.

But the light in his eyes had died out, replaced by a cold, unfamiliar stare.

 _Traitor,_ he hissed, his blade cautiously leveled to her throat, a drop frozen in time. Suddenly, he abruptly turned away, retreating over the horizon without a second glance.

If looks could kill, she would have been dead already.

-XXXX-

"Tell me the truth," Corrin grit out, her expression dark and concealed. "Tell me what you really know."

Ryoma figured it was already too late.

-XXXX-

She shouldn't have been so naïve.

Hoshido was nothing more than a bottle of lies, desperate to retrieve their last shred of gold. They said that she was their most valuable asset, the one destined to bring glory to their kingdom. They told her that everything they had done was for her own good.

But the worst part was that she remembered now, she knew where her true home was, the distant kingdom of Nohr. She finally understood, understood why Xander had looked at her like that, an unspoken rage of heartbreak.

Corrin had forgotten what it was like to cry.

-XXXX-

The battlefield was a strange place.

Here she was again, armed with her noble Yato, the so-called bringer of peace. Funny how difficult it was to even be at peace with herself.

Slash, dodge, cut, left, right, up, down. Corrin let herself drown away in the cries of war, her mind focused elsewhere and uninterested in the present. After Ryoma's revelation, Corrin hadn't spoken to her Hoshidan siblings for days. She locked herself up, boxed away in a corner of muddled emotions, not sure what to make of the onslaught of returning memories from a place she called home. Nohr wouldn't accept her now, not since her "betrayal" thanks to Hoshido, and Hoshido left behind scars of revenge. Nothing really mattered to her anymore.

Her carelessness soon led her astray, and Corrin found herself sprawled across the ground, faced at gunpoint by the tip of a sword. _I'm ready,_ she thought, closing her eyes in defeat.

Fate wouldn't have it that day.

"…Mama…?" a small voice cried out, lowering the edge of the blade away. Corrin didn't want to wake from her slumber, but the word lingered in her curiosity. She opened her eyes, only to find herself staring into her own eyes. But these belonged to someone else, a young boy with a blue scarf, his grey hair ruffled and short.

"Kanna."

Kanna turned from facing Corrin to the one who had spoken, another young man on a horse. This one had blond, short hair, too young to be Xander, but certainly a spitting image of him as he rode closer to Corrin's position.

The blond one glanced over at Corrin, a conflicted expression. Corrin noticed how he even furrowed his brow like Xander.

"Kanna…" the blond one sighed, "You know we can't… Father would… we have to leave…"

"Why!?" Kanna shouted indignantly, leaping to his feet in a defensive stance. "You promised me Siegbert! You promised you would help me find her!" Kanna's eyes began to well up, pointing at Corrin who was now standing. "She's our mother, for gods' sake!"

Siegbert grimaced in shock, recoiling at Kanna's harsh words. Corrin thought it was another lie, but Kanna's desperate plea said otherwise.

Siegbert opened his mouth to reply, when –

"Siegbert."

A voice boomed in the distance, laced with the authority Corrin knew only one person could make.

"I… shall determine her fate."

The man she loved, once loved, still loved, strided over, fixing his eyes upon her. Corrin was a caged bird, trapped between the life she wanted and the one she knew.

They stood apart again, repeating the same cycle as the first battle they had met. His blade was to her heart, her heart already broken by his, his not faring much better than before. Their children held their breaths, Siegbert attempting to shield his brother from the possible pain.

One, two, three, four.

Four chess pieces tumbling in the dark.

Xander refused to take his eyes off of Corrin, and she returned the challenge. She saw a universe in his eyes, a burden too heavy for one man to hold, a man yearning for someone to confide in. He saw the past he longed for, the woman who had stolen his heart, broken, and mended it throughout the years.

Neither dared to move, afraid of what may come to pass, but it was too much, too much to hold on to, and Corrin broke her gaze away from Xander.

She knew it was a sign of submission.

So did he.

Xander's blade inched closer to her heart, daring Corrin to make a move. She stood frozen in time, watchful of how he was getting closer in proximity. " _Do it quickly,_ " she whispered, only audible enough for him to hear. " _Do it before I fall._ "

Xander pulled back his sword, readying to strike down Corrin as she closed her eyes. She waited. And waited. A single, final goodbye glistened down her cheek.

Kanna gasped from the side, Siegbert rigid in fear.

Xander hesitated.

Suddenly, Corrin felt herself caught in the arms of the man who had just stood before her, stunned speechless by his unforeseen movement. Xander never showed weakness, and yet… He knelt to the ground, grasping her as if she was the most precious thing in the world.

"Come _home_ , little princess," he murmured, shaking uncontrollably on her shoulder. Corrin could feel herself drowning in his sob. "Please…"

She remembered the day they had said "I do" to each other.

She finally understood what her heart had been telling her all along.

Slowly, Corrin placed her hand on his cheek, wiping the silent tears away. He stopped shaking, putting his hands on her shoulders instead of his face, and pulling away an inch. He gazed at her again with a softened expression. Corrin smiled back meekly, whispering, "I'm sorry. For everything." He knew.

Wordlessly, Xander lifted his hand and held it out for her, giving her a final choice to come back to him.

"Corrin… will you accept me… Xander… of Nohr…?"

She took his hand, and said her "I do" once more.

Fin.

A/N: Every time I play Birthright, I silently sob at being apart from my true family.


End file.
